Frozen 24th Birthday

Ding.... That's what they say in games when you level up.

Honestly, I never imagined my life past 23 years of age. Now I'm officially 24 and I feel as if life played a trick on me. Years vanished into this hazy mush of fading pictures and what remains is unrealistic nostalgia, all these new and old friends and.... me. I've changed and shifted over the years. Some may claim people do not change but I claim otherwise. 

Read, write, experience and feel.... all of these things make you grow.

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See who is there for you for real...

All of these things matter and when you make mistakes; which is kind of inevitable. Learn from them. What have I learnt from this past year? Since I turned 23? Hmmh....

I've learnt that life isn't even as simple as I thought it would be. I've learnt that some things just are not worth the trouble and one should learn to tell which things are and which ones aren't. By things I obviously mean relationships, goals and friendships. If it's worth it; don't let it go.

Don't be scared...

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Grasp life by its very neck and live it to the fullest....

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Let it go.... test your limits.... For there might just be magic in it.

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And lastly; Keep your family close.

They're always there for you first and foremost.

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Like my sister is for me.

A lot of Frozen things.... images..... what can I say; my nickname is Snowy and I like the movie. So my birthday theme for this year is Frozen. Frozen 24th birthday. Also.... this movie made me cry for I am a big sister and my sister is amazing. In fact it actually feels like she's taking care of me more than I am taking care of her which I kind of thought was the big sister's job.

Well...... I'm going to try to sleep some now... Enjoy my birthday! :)

 -Snowy-

Power of Penance

I discovered the best way to get things done today. If you're addicted to anything silly like playing League of Legends - use it to your advantage. First you have something you need to get done like for me it was cleaning. Second step is to get to your addiction; play games. Thirdly if you lose - do penance. If you lose - you clean. If you win - you get tea or something else. :) Works like a charm.

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Sure did for me....

Requiescat in pace

I don't understand people sometimes.... if ever.

Honestly, if you do something so idiotic as driving over like the cutest cat in the world; the least you can do is to go tell the owners what happened and apologise. They probably wouldn't forgive you but it's still the least you can do. My poor sister is wrecked and in pieces. Someone drove over her dearest cat today and didn't even have the balls to come tell about it in person. If he/she did it on purpose..... I honestly hope they rot in hell.

Just look at this....

Wasn't she just the cutest thing in the world? She actually even paid rent; she brought in living birds and mice and what not to teach us humans to hunt because she thought we couldn't do it for ourselves.

I just petted her yesterday and gave her something to eat. I can't believe she's gone. I still remember when I stayed in my sister's room after my trip to England and she just appeared to my feet and pushed my legs aside to make herself some room. Silly little thing !

Fiona wasn't my pet. She belonged to my sister and my parents. My family. Still it feels like a loss. Feels like she was part of that very family which is my own. She is the second pet I've lost. First one was Susu...... Cute little beagle girl. Makes me miss her too even more.

I really hope my sister pulls well through this one.... she's had hard enough life as it is and Fiona meant a lot to her. I'm hoping to lift her spirits with Henry on Thursday. We'll probably not succeed but we'll try at least.

If nothing else; at least Fiona had the best life a cat can have. Warm and lovely place to sleep at next to my sister, freedom to her heart's content to do whatever she pleased..... roaming around and hunting birds and mice. She got food when she needed and she even had Nappe to protect her when neighbour's cat was being mean. And she had my sister and my family; she had Love.

Anyway.... Rest in peace little one.

Sunday

Well let's start with my day; It was a..... a Sunday. A rainy Sunday. I woke up around 7.30-8 AM to dress up for hunting, then dad picked me up and we went to the forest with Nappe (beagle). Dad saw a hare; twice actually. I never glimpsed any. :C

Either way I had pretty decent time despite my toes and fingers freezing most of the time. Especially when dad found the poor wounded toad. Seems Nappe saved its life for one in barking and scaring its assailant away, then dad for picking it up and taking it with us. The hibernation wore off and the first thing it did was crawl across the table and drop on its head on the floor. Well, he's alive......

I don't understand what is the problem with these people; how can toads be terrifying to anyone? I can understand snakes or spiders or even sharks and moose because these are actually dangerous. I can even understand someone being afraid of yellow frogs but toads don't harm you. :C 

Leave them be!

Even though this one looks kinda ferocious !

Slack ---- BUT

I've been slacking lately and I'm sorry for that. Been kind of unwell and also been playing a lot. Anyways to the subject at hand; I've been thinking a lot about speaking to people, like how to do it proper and where you can pretty much detect flaws in speech or hidden meanings or just pure bullshit.

I've come to the conclusion that the words IF and BUT are the worst ones. Let's first get to that "BUT". If you compliment someone and then say "BUT"; it pretty much nullifies everything you said before the word.

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Consequently, I've started to completely ignore everything that comes after the word. If you need to add a "BUT"; then leave whatever you just said unsaid.

Useless words especially in the wrong places...

Gonna do IF later. :)

Sugarcoating all around

Wow..... Sometimes it really hurts to hear some things, but you know what? It hurts even worse and makes you mad to hear them sugarcoated. It's not even just a truth you may be telling, it just might be something that you think MIGHT offend someone so you add this nice stuff to it to make it sound "better".

 

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BUT NOT BOYFRIENDS LOL :DDDDDD

 
Sometimes people just realise when you're "saying something hidden" and how exactly you mean it...

When your story is like this...

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Basically what I am saying is not to sugarcoat obvious things. It's okay to not bluntly say that someone's dress is downright ugly or to not bluntly inform that you're standing someone up for someone else or for a game for that matter. Rather if you have a good reason to do something; or an emotional reason or not at all good reason but you still want to do it; don't lie about it or sugarcoat it. It makes it worse to hear. :)

 

Abstract words

What exactly is it that measures these abstract words like love, good, evil, bad....  and so on? How can you know when a person is bad or good for that matter? Is it the way he talks, the way he walks or just generally his point of view towards life? Is it rudeness or indifference? You know; "bad people"  - all of them actually think they're all good and to them you're the bad one. So, who is right?

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Perhaps he just had a really bad day and was taking it out on you. It just means he cares about you; you were worthy enough object to take all of that feeling out and on your shoulders. Maybe he thinks you can handle it.

TO BE HONEST: I have come to the conclusion that purely "good" people do not exist. Seriously, if they do, they'd be freaks of nature. For good and evil both count as humanity. We are humans and we make mistakes and we do bad things. That's what forgiveness is for... At least I've never met anyone "pure", one without a dark side.

One such as....

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Oh, wait.... Tyrael has a dark side too.... Call it JUSTICE if you will.

Lady Fortune smiles - NOT

Honestly, how unlucky can one be? From promotion matches to 0 points in one streak with players like:
"oh I bought Syndra so I better practice her in ranked",
"OMG Kassadin is open - I BETTER PLAY IT EVEN THOUGH I DUNNO HOW",

"adc or afk", "I PLAY ASHE CUZ I GOT THE NEW SKIN"
& 

"oooooooh, let's go vs KATARINA with a squishy team and just one interrupt ! whee best idea evar!!!!"

Generally.... isn't there supposed to be some kind of balance? What actually defines luck? Is it so that you're in doing GREAT in some areas on some certain day and then AWFUL in others? How does it work? I'd like to know. Does it exist or is it some kind of KARMA thing?

There are plenty of things in this world that I do not understand. Luck is one of them, especially good luck. This rarely occurring, evasive beast barely ever leaves you with anything in between "good" and "bad". Then again is there anything in between? If everything goes "normally", shouldn't that be considered lucky too? Surely it is lucky to not be unlucky... Confusing.

Thought this appropriate.... <3

Love-Hate relationship towards Valentine's Day

First thing you have to understand is that I am all about love. I adore the sheer feeling of being in love and loving someone, feeling warm and fuzzy and all that. I LOVE IT.

Considering this, I think Valentine's day should be like my favourite day in the whole year. All about romantics; candle dinners, heart-shaped chocolates, roses and poetry. All about love.  The thing is, I've only ever been together with one person during Valentine's day. Every other relationship has collapsed right before it. A month before it to be exact. I don't know why; maybe I'm under some Valentine's day curse. It sucks though to be single on Valentine's day... Especially such a single as I am. One that doesn't like to go out drinking and "having fun" as they call it. One that prefers to socialise over internet, especially over games.

It is hard, really..... to see all those guys in town, with bouquets of roses on their arms. All the loving couples cuddling and kissing on the benches and in the bus. Makes my heart long for someone to hold, someone I could cuddle and kiss, someone I could spoil and give my love to. Someone I could try make the happiest person in the world.

What can I say? I'm a romantic.... I love letters and cards and little things. I love LOVE but I hate being alone with it. I mean.... Being alone. However, sometimes it is better to be alone than in a bad relationship; at least I've learnt that much by now. Besides.... there are people I love... my family and some others; all in different ways, so this day.... This Valentine's Day I own to them. I love you. <3

I wrote this in class as an assignment from a few given; a bit odd rhyming pairs. Thought it was appropriate for today! :D   Enjoy! <3

My sister has the cutest cat,
Today her cat caught a bat,
She brought it into the house,
Instead of her favourite mouse,
I'm much like her in some sense,
I take in things that make me tense...
I am forever the love fool,
If only once I could be cool,
Let the flames burn low,
Leave the embers to glow,
Give me tricks, maybe tips,
Please give me an obedient dog,
Instead of always the rude hog,
Please give me one....
One that always calls my phone,
One that never leaves me alone,
One that is honest, fair and funny,
I really don't care about the money...
Just give me one to always love,
Give me one I can call my dove,
One to satisfy needs more deep,
One to cuddle into and sleep,
It doesn't have to be a man,
Of women, I'm a great fan,
Just give me anyone for a start,
Just not one that much likes to fart,
If in search of perfection,
I'd like one to share my fire,
One to take care of desire,
Sigh at all these pretty boys,
Were I more evil....
I'd make them all my toys...

Happy Valentine's Day !

Addicted

.... Today I had a busy day. Another exam behind and got top grade for it. <3

What else have I done? I've been awfully tired, that's for certain. I was just going to say I don't know why, but I kind of do know... I've watched Chuck till the morning hours. Really bad idea on a school day. Well, at least it didn't seem to affect my exam. :)

I have this very bad tendency of getting addicted to things like series and books... If there's like this really intense spot in a book and I really really want to know what's gonna happen, I just simply cannot put it down. Same goes for series; I cannot stop myself from watching the next episode if there was a horribly intense cliffhanger at the end.

How do you know when to stop ?  Just STOP ? I honestly don't know. I have these special tactics where I either say "I'm gonna go sleep after this one." or "Oh, it's only 1AM, surely I can watch another. I'll go sleep at 2AM." and then I do the same with the next hour.... So, it doesn't work.

Any ideas?

Simple pleasures

There are grand pleasures in life, such that happen rare. Then there are the simple pleasures that some people wholly ignore instead of enjoying them.

Personally, I am all about these simple pleasures. I love little things done to me and the simple things like sensations and emotions. Probably one of my less sexual favourites would be when I go to sauna: the caressing warmth and the sweat slowly trickling down my skin.  Why does it always have to be something big......?

Why not enjoy if someone decides to treat you with a gift or some sweets ? Why not just lie down and let the feeling of receiving such kindness sweep right through you....?

Happiness is the truth

:)  Just to go back to the flaming thing once more...

I just had a game where we were some 4/16 in kills with fed Jarvan and Lucian and Morgana in opposing team (League of Legends players will know what I mean) and I was the only one with kills as Volibear top. Somehow our Kha'zix had managed to go 0/5 in jungling. Instead of flaming him or anyone else for that matter, we rallied and told him to play safer. He shaped up quickly and in the end he went 11/7 and we won. Clearly worth it to flame anyone.

Now I also managed to do the retake on my Structured Expressions1 exam and I have a good feeling about it, even if some of the adverbials were rather confusing and difficult to find and Finite and Non-Finite verbs were never my strong suit. By the way, if you're having a bad day or a bad start to a day; I must recommend listening to Pharrel Williams' "Happy".  Works wonders on one's mood.

Interesting... I actually enjoy writing about fairly random things. I mean, I thought to have an actual topic to write about but this seems to work just fine. I think I'll attempt to do some two entries each day for starters. Might lower it a bit though once the deadlines start approaching...

Flaming?

Somehow....

I really do not understand what is wrong with people. Why do people have to 'flame' and whine and make someone feel like shit if they have a bad game or if they do badly in something in general? Does it help? I'd say quite the opposite.

So what does it do then? Does it make one feel better about oneself to blame things on others? Is it truly to boost one's self-esteem to bash others down for their mistakes? Am I mistaken in recalling that this very same behaviour is linked with the 'disease' called 'narcissism' ?

In other words if you do not consider yourself a narcissistic personality and you find someone failing at something, don't go bitching at him/her about it. It doesn't help. Besides if it's a game or such and this person is in your team, it hardly helps that you attack him/her. All you do is make him/her feel crap and play worse or do whatever she/he was doing - WORSE than before. You want to win, right? Don't make it worse. Think about it.

A very wise friend of mine once said: "If you want to get better, blame every loss on yourself."

Another point of view: if it is a teamgame. Then it rarely is just one person who is doing something wrong and even more often you yourself can actually do something about what is going wrong. So you can improve and this applies to teamwork as well. You can improve teamwork by gently commanding, encouraging and rallying OR you can destroy it completely by flaming and being a dick about it. And if it doesn't work; at least you tried. Even so you'd have improved your own game and done everything you could.

This ought to be especially for the people who play League of Legends and flame.

The Beginning

Hey,

I don't have a clue as to how to start these blog things. I just decided it is time for me to practice my English writing skills at least once a week. Whether this is the best way of doing it, I don't know.

Anyway, let me introduce myself. My name is Taija and I'm from Finland. I'd like to become an author someday, much like David Gemmell and Jacqueline Carey; the authors I idolize. English language is my passion in every form and has been from when I was but a child. It is an infatuation or should I say love affair that has lasted all the way to this very day and one that will go on until the day I die.

It's 9.43 in the morning on a rather gloomy Tuesday morning and I'm going to be late from class. Why do I know this in advance? Well, school started at 8 and I already missed the multi-culture lectures and these Swedish lessons do not tempt me all that much. Probably because I haven't yet learnt anything new from them. Also, frankly put, I'm exhausted. I don't know why exactly. Just that I am. Likely it is because I have an awful week ahead; two exams and I cannot do badly in either if I wish to have a good chance at getting a slot from the University of Vaasa.

We'll see what I'll end up writing about.... I did always think of blogging like writing a public diary. Anyways......... I chose to name mine Waylander in honour of David Gemmell, who died some years ago. It is also for the unique meaning it carries as it seeks to mean something like a stranger, foreigner and yet I always imagined it more into the "wanderer" meaning. However, by the looks of it the word is Gemmell's own creation and is probably rooted from the word "waylay", where instead of making it the noun "waylayer" Mr. Gemmell went for Waylander.

What else?  Well, I spend my days either reading heroic fantasy, writing things, playing League of Legends or reading to exams. I do try to go to gym every week but it is easier said than done. :3