My gosh.... Why is it so damn painful to see couples... to know someone is looking for a girlfriend; just knowing that whoever he is looking for is not you. Why is it so painful to leave the life I've lead; though inconsistently, behind? Why is it so damn difficult to get over one's ex and yet it seems to be so damn much more easier for your ex? WHY? WHY ME?
I feel like I'm in chains and in pain. Someone could come punch me unconscious and I might actually get amnesia and then I could applaud that someone as my friggin' hero. Too painful.... Maybe it is what keeps me from sleeping or getting anything done. I need to get a grip somehow... I used to have control. I used to be able to control my feelings to a point. I want that control back. I want the leash.
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